Agrégation
Mock exam December 2020
Translation
into English
First
of all, initial comment on some of the difficulties of translating this
passage : line numbers are counted from 1 « Le coeur
d’Adelaïde » to line 38 « le repas».
Most
of the verbs are in the present, but will be translated as preterite, since narratives
in the present are so extremely rare and strange in English. We understand from
this passage that we are going to visit a series of events, and the events on
later pages will take place after the ones on this page (her setting up her new
home). Translating the whole passage in the present is extremely dangerous. Do
not hesitate to consult several grammar books on this question if you find it
confusing. See also, here : http://johncmullen.blogspot.com/2021/01/theme-agregation-translating-narrative.html
The
style is not very formal, as we can see from such structures as « Ce
qui.... c’est ... » (lines 4-5), « c’est dans le tribunal
que... » (lines 6). However, it is certainly not highly informal and no
verbal contractions will be acceptable.
The
story is set less than forty years ago, and
no doubt much more recently, because the Billy bookcase was first sold in 1979
and only became popular in France a number of years later. The novel was
published in August 2020, and received the Prix Medicis in November (this is a
prize for up and coming writers).
There
are a number of sentences where, in French, two main clauses are separated only
by a comma (line 4, and lines 6-7 for example) so we have to remember that a
comma can almost never do this in English.
There
are some sentences in French with no verb in them (line 22 for example). We
will almost always have to add a verb in English.
There
are some words (« autonome » and « conjugal » for example),
which have latinate or Greek-based equivalents in English (autonomous,
conjugal). We will be trying to find words which do not come from Greek or
Latin to use instead.
I
did not include the title of the novel in the marking, because they generally
do not do this in the real exam. It is a reference to a long essay by Virginia
Woolf, published in 1929, A Room of One’s Own.[1]
Re-reading
Candidates
often lose points unnecessarily. I recommend when you finish translating to
re-read for particular points.
1)
Look at each verb. What tense is this? Why did I choose this tense?
2)
Re-read again – are there any places I should have added a verb?
3)
Re-read again – is any of the vocabulary I chose too formal, too intellectual,
or too informal or even slangy?
4)
Re-read again for punctuation.
4)
Re-read again… you can invent other specific re-reads. Continue until there is
no time left. Never leave the exam room before the end.
Adélaïde’s
heart was thumping[2]
painfully[3],
as if it had been rubbed[4]
with sandpaper. Even so,[5]
she was smiling[6] as
she unpacked[7]
her cardboard boxes. She had her own space;[8]
she was out on her own.[9]
This would be her kingdom: this one-bedroom flat was perfect, if tiny[10].
What was scraping at her heart was the effect[11]
of the divorce, even though it had been her[12]
who had asked for it. It had started in the courtroom, [13]
and since then her ventricles had not stopped peeling. Adelaïde could feel this
and thought her heart was moulting[14],
losing the last shreds of the love she had had for Elias. Beneath was a whole
new skin, ready for other thrills. The outside layer[15]
was raw from exposure to the emptiness. No-one was thinking of her, and there
was no-one in her thoughts: this was the first time that had been the case
since she was fifteen years old. Previously she had always left one man for the
arms of another: Adélaïde had always been in love. She had been, these last
seven years, in love with Elias, until routine wore out her soul and her
nerves.
Adelaide
unpacked[16]
and was surprised to see that her whole life[17]
took up so little space. She was forty-six[18]
years old and had no possessions other than a pile of clothes and seven
bookcases. These were Billy[19]
bookcases from Ikea, which she decorated
with tinsel,[20]
framed butterflies, Mexican ornaments[21]
and[22]
Japanese lanterns. Between two bound volumes of the Pléiade literary editions was
displayed a pair of stilettos ; those were the two things she was passionate about
in life : books and shoes. In her previous[23]
flat, Adélaïde had had a guest room[24]
which had served as a walk-in wardrobe.[25]
And she had had a double living room[26]
and a place to sit and read. She owed all that to Elias[27],
who owned the flat. With only her own salary, Adélaïde could rent 350 square
feet in the twentieth arrondissement of
Paris.[28]
She
had chosen a three-quarter bed[29]
and as little furniture as she could. There was[30]
a table, four chairs, but no settee.[31]
Everywhere, clothes rails bent under the weight, trunks overflowed, and the few
cupboards there were imploded. There were books on every wall, taking over the
floorspace, appearing here and there in piles, as extra tables or in stacks. Then
there were boots, ankle boots and trainers[32],
piled in a pyramid in the hallway., while in the corners of the bedroom there
were more mounds,[33]
of sandals, ballet shoes and high heels.
This
gave an impression of chaos[34]
which could not be countered. It looked like a second-hand shop, it felt like
living in one of the sections of an Emmaus[35]
charity warehouse. Adelaïde had known what she was letting herself in for[36]
when she left Elias: it meant she had to abandon the comfortable life and see
her standard of living plummet. She saw herself as alone and free, now
liberated from the shackles of marriage. It was ten to nine[37],
and she was particularly pleased to have skipped dinner.
Tinsel
Japanese
lanterns
[2] Not an easy verb to translate. “Beating » is what
hearts normally do, so is not appropriate here.
[3] Adding a verb to
replacethis adverb was also a good idea – « and it hurt ».
[4] I had a slight preference for “scraped”,
but I needed that word a little later in the passage.
[5] « Nevertheless » or
“nonetheless” would be too formal. “Yet” is good, but must not be followed by a
comma.
[6] « She smiled »
is also fine.
[7] This is a little better
than « while unpacking… ». Otherwise, since we are not focussing on
« l’action au cours de son déroulement » the verb
« unpack » must not take a BE +ING.
[8] « Her own place is of course
possible, but, since « her own place » is a common way of saying
« her own home », I think the French is better rendered with
« space ».
[9] It is good to avoid “autonomous”. This
word comes from the Greek, and one would expect to see it written by a
psychologist or a business manager.
[10] Again, « tiny » is much better than the
latinate « minuscule ».
[11] « Effect » is often used more in the plural
(« effects »), but here this would lead us to a slightly clumsy
« what was scraping at her heart were the effects... »
[12] This is a good structure
to focus correctly.
[13] More about divorce courts in England ; the law is
different in Scotland. http://www.courtroomadvice.co.uk/about-the-divorce-court.html I would not expect the word
« tribunal ». You can see from the collocation chart below that the
word « tribunal » in British English generally refers to conflicts
arising in the world of work.
[14] Or « shedding its skin ». We usually speak of
dogs moulting, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moulting ) and of snakes shedding their
skin.
[15] It is not possible to
translate with « envelope ». If I search on Google for
« l’enveloppe de son cœur » I find 50 000 pages, if I search for
« the envelope of her heart » I find one page !
[16] Since, as we put it in
French, we are not particularly interested here in « l’action au cours de
son déroulement », sonceit is not being interrupted nor is it
characterized by a particular intensity, it is incorrect to use a BE + ING
here. Not too late to read, or read again, the excellent book by Anne Trevise,
Le Prétérit anglais. Freely available here : https://halshs.archives-ouvertes.fr/halshs-00732793/document
[17] This is better than
« all her life » which tends to make one think of its duration and
not its entirety.
[18] Writing figures (46) rather than words (forty-six) is
even rarer in English than in French, so definitely use words here. Here is a
very short guide from Hull University https://canvas.hull.ac.uk/courses/213/pages/writing-numbers
[20] Or « strings of lights » or even
« garlands ».
[21] Or knick-knacks (more informal), or even « trinkets ».
Trinkets is less good, because it strongly suggests jewellery.
[22] This « and » cannot be omitted.
[23] Not « her former
flat » since the flat she used to live in is presumably still a flat.
[24] In two words : not
*guestroom.
[25] « Dressing-room » is acceptable.
[26] Some dictionaries spell this « living-room »
but it is very common to see it without the hyphen.
[27] Note that doubling the
object (* « all this she owed it to elias ») is completely
impossible. (This is a French contstruction).
[28] 1 100 euros a month, at 2020 prices (seloger.com).
[29] I am confident no candidate would find this translation. https://www.prestigebeds.co.uk/2017/10/03/size-three-quarter-small-double-bed/
« A
four-foot-wide bed » is excellent. Although using square metres to
describe the size of a flat is almost acceptable, because renting flats is a
commercial activity and so metres might have their place, describing a bed
required everyday language and you should use feet. Note that in the adjectival
form the plural is not used : a four-foot-wide bed, a ten-mile hike, a
hundred-metre sprint, a three-week holiday, a six-inch nail.
[30] You could probably get away without adding a verbal
expression here, exceptionally.
[31] Or sofa. « Couch » is normally reserved for the
psychiatrist’s.
[32] In US English : sneakers.
[33] There are many other
possible translations here. However « …ballet shoes and high heels heaped
up in the corners of … » is not possible : one must say « were
heaped up » in the passive voice.
[34] [from wikipedia :] Capharnaüm ou Capernaüm est
un village de pêcheurs de
l'ancienne province de Galilée. Sous la
dynastie des Hasmonéens, ce village
faisait de 6 à 10 hectares et sa population avoisinait les 1 700 personnes1.
Ce mot est surtout utilisé au sens figuré pour qualifier un lieu de grande
pagaille, renfermant beaucoup d'objets entassés pêle-mêle, un endroit en
désordre et par métonymie un
amas de ces objets. Ce sens, uniquement utilisé en
français et beaucoup utilisé par Balzac, est justifié par Littré par le fait que Capharnaüm était lié à
la lecture de l'évangile selon Saint-Marc, II, 2, sur l'attroupement lors de la
venue de Jésus. Selon Larousse, il s'agit d'« une grande ville de
commerce ». [Although other sources claim this use exists also in
English, I am unconvinced]
[35] Emmaus was first set up
in Paris by the well-known radical cleric, l’Abbé Pierre, in 1949. There are
now 350 groups around the world, including 28 in the UK. Someone tried to
translate with « Oxfam » which I thought was enterprising.
[36] Or « knew the risks
she was taking ».
[37] I think this is the only
translation. Not « eight fifty » and certainly not anything concerning
twenty. The 24 hours clock is used for trains and planes and in a military
context, but not in everyday language. So « Les infos de vingt
heures » is « The Eight O’Clock news ».
